What's a resuscitation decision, and when does it come up?

A resuscitation decision is about whether attempts to restart your heart and breathing (CPR) would be wanted if your heart stopped — and, more broadly, what your goals of care are if you became very unwell. For a young, healthy person CPR can be life-saving; for someone who is frail or has an advanced illness, it is often unlikely to help and can cause harm, so a planned 'not for CPR' decision can be a considered, compassionate choice. These decisions are made thoughtfully, in advance where possible, with your doctors and the people you trust. It's a conversation worth having calmly rather than in a crisis.

How do I plan long-term care for a parent with dementia?

It usually unfolds in stages rather than as one big decision. Early on, planning focuses on support at home, advance care planning while the person can still take part, and getting the legal and financial affairs in order. As needs grow, the question of more support — including, eventually, residential aged care for some — comes up. There's no single right time; it depends on safety, the person's needs and what the family can sustain. The National Dementia Helpline (1800 100 500) and Dementia Australia are excellent, free starting points, and your GP helps coordinate the medical side.

I'm caring for someone — how do I look after myself?

Carer burnout is real, common, and not a sign of weakness — you cannot pour from an empty cup. Looking after yourself is part of caring well, not separate from it. Practical steps include accepting and asking for help, using respite care, staying connected to your own health and GP, and reaching out to carer supports. In Australia, Carer Gateway (1800 422 737) offers free counselling, respite and practical support for carers. If you're feeling overwhelmed or hopeless, please talk to someone — your GP, Lifeline (13 11 14) or Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636).

Isn't planning for serious illness just morbid or giving up?

It can feel that way before you do it, and the opposite afterwards. Planning ahead is not giving up — it's taking control of the things you can, so that the people you love aren't left to guess, argue or carry guilt at the hardest moment. Most people who complete advance care planning describe relief, not gloom. You can revisit and change your plans any time. The kindest version of this is to do it while you're well enough to think clearly and talk it through with the people who matter.

Decision aid

Planning ahead — advance care, resuscitation, dementia and carers

By Dr HB Lo, FACRRM Reviewed 15 June 2026 5 min read

General information to help you prepare for your GP — not a diagnosis, not personal medical advice. It doesn't replace a consultation, and using it doesn't create a doctor–patient relationship.

Planning ahead for serious illness is one of the hardest things to sit down and do — and one of the kindest. It's not about giving up; it's about making sure that, if you can't speak for yourself one day, the people around you know what matters to you.

This guide covers four connected decisions: advance care planning, resuscitation and goals-of-care choices, planning long-term care in dementia, and looking after yourself if you're the carer.

It's general information to help you prepare for your GP — not personal advice. If any of this brings up distress: in an emergency call 000; for support call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. You don't have to carry it alone.

If you need support now: Planning for serious illness can stir up grief, fear and exhaustion — that’s human, not a failing. In an emergency call 000. For 24/7 support call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. If you’re a carer, Carer Gateway (1800 422 737) offers free counselling and respite; for dementia, the National Dementia Helpline is 1800 100 500; and for help with advance care planning, Advance Care Planning Australia is 1300 208 582. You don’t have to carry this alone.

The kindest hard conversation

Few things are harder to sit down and do than plan for serious illness — and few are kinder. Planning ahead is not about giving up or inviting bad luck. It’s about making sure that, if a day comes when you can’t speak for yourself, the people around you know what matters to you, and aren’t left guessing, arguing or carrying guilt at the worst possible moment. Most people who do it describe relief afterwards, not gloom.

This guide walks through four connected decisions — advance care planning, resuscitation choices, planning long-term care in dementia, and looking after yourself as a carer. It’s general information to help you prepare for your GP, not personal advice. And because this territory can stir up distress, the support lines at the top of this page are there for a reason — please use them if you need to.

Advance care planning: your wishes, your voice

Advance care planning is the process of thinking about, and writing down, the medical care you would or wouldn’t want if you became too unwell to speak for yourself — and choosing a substitute decision-maker to speak on your behalf, as HealthDirect describes. Anyone can do it at any age, but it matters most as we get older or live with serious illness.

It isn’t about predicting every possible scenario. It’s about recording your values and your key wishes so your family and doctors have something to follow. Importantly, each Australian state and territory has its own forms and legal rules, so getting the right documents matters — Advance Care Planning Australia (phone 1300 208 582) can point you to your state’s forms and help. The advance care planning tool below helps you clarify what matters to you before you complete the formal paperwork with your GP.

Resuscitation and goals of care

A resuscitation decision is about whether attempts to restart your heart and breathing — CPR — would be wanted if your heart stopped, and, more broadly, what your goals of care are if you became very unwell. This is one of the most misunderstood areas of planning. For a young, healthy person, CPR can be life-saving. For someone who is frail or living with an advanced illness, it is often unlikely to work and can cause harm — so a considered “not for CPR” decision can be a thoughtful, compassionate choice rather than a giving-up.

These decisions are best made calmly and in advance, with your doctors and the people you trust, rather than in the middle of a crisis. Framing it as “what would good care look like for me?” — which is where palliative care and the philosophy described by Palliative Care Australia come in — often makes the conversation feel less frightening. The resuscitation and decision tool below helps you prepare those questions.

Dementia: planning long-term care in stages

Planning care for someone living with dementia rarely happens as one big decision — it unfolds in stages. Early on, the focus is support at home, completing advance care planning while the person can still take part, and getting legal and financial affairs in order, as Dementia Australia outlines. As needs grow, the question of more support — including, eventually, residential care for some — comes into view.

There’s no single right time, and a lot of guilt can attach to this decision unnecessarily. The honest measure is safety, the person’s needs, and what the family can realistically sustain — not a sense of having “failed.” The free National Dementia Helpline (1800 100 500) is an excellent place to talk it through, and your GP coordinates the medical side. The dementia long-term care tool below helps you organise where things are and what to plan next.

Carers: you can’t pour from an empty cup

If you’re the one caring, this part is for you. Carer burnout is real, common, and not a sign of weakness — and looking after yourself is part of caring well, not separate from it. Practical steps include accepting and asking for help, using respite care, staying connected to your own GP and health, and reaching out to carer supports, as Carers Australia sets out.

In Australia, Carer Gateway (1800 422 737) offers free counselling, respite and practical support for carers — a genuinely useful service that’s often underused. The caregiver stress tool below helps you take stock of how you’re coping and what support to reach for. And if you’re feeling overwhelmed or hopeless at any point, please talk to someone today — your GP, Lifeline on 13 11 14, or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636.

The questions worth taking in

Can you help me start an advance care plan and choose a substitute decision-maker, using my state’s forms?
Given my health, what would a sensible goals-of-care or resuscitation plan look like for me?
For someone with dementia, what support is available now, and how do we plan for what’s ahead?
As a carer, what respite and support can I access — and how am I actually coping?

These are questions, not conclusions. The aim is to plan with your GP and the people who matter to you, while there’s time to do it calmly.

What this is, and is not

This is general information to help you prepare for your GP — not a diagnosis, and not personal medical advice. It doesn’t complete any legal document for you or make any care decision; those are made with your own doctors, your family and the right state forms. For trustworthy Australian background, see HealthDirect and Dementia Australia.

And again, if things feel heavy right now: 000 in an emergency, Lifeline 13 11 14, Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636, Carer Gateway 1800 422 737, or the National Dementia Helpline 1800 100 500. Reaching out is a strong move.

Related on this site: the dementia explainer covers the condition behind many long-term-care decisions, and the appointment preparation decision aid helps you raise these hard conversations well with your GP.

If you want an unhurried, compassionate conversation about planning ahead for yourself or someone you love, you can work with Dr Lo.

Author: Dr Hoe Bing Lo — AHPRA MED0001212640 · FACRRM. Fun Doctors Pty Ltd · ABN 83 404 436 330.

Tools to take to your GP

Each runs in your browser — nothing you enter is stored or sent anywhere. They help you prepare the questions and print a one-page summary to bring to your appointment. They don't diagnose or recommend a specific treatment.

Frequently asked questions

What is advance care planning, and do I need it?

Advance care planning is the process of thinking about, and writing down, the medical care you would or wouldn't want if you became too unwell to speak for yourself — and choosing a substitute decision-maker to speak on your behalf. Anyone can do it, at any age, but it matters most as we get older or live with serious illness. It isn't about predicting every scenario; it's about recording your values and key wishes so your family and doctors aren't left guessing at the worst possible time. Each Australian state and territory has its own forms and rules, so it's worth getting the right ones — Advance Care Planning Australia (1300 208 582) can point you to them.
What's a resuscitation decision, and when does it come up?

A resuscitation decision is about whether attempts to restart your heart and breathing (CPR) would be wanted if your heart stopped — and, more broadly, what your goals of care are if you became very unwell. For a young, healthy person CPR can be life-saving; for someone who is frail or has an advanced illness, it is often unlikely to help and can cause harm, so a planned 'not for CPR' decision can be a considered, compassionate choice. These decisions are made thoughtfully, in advance where possible, with your doctors and the people you trust. It's a conversation worth having calmly rather than in a crisis.
How do I plan long-term care for a parent with dementia?

It usually unfolds in stages rather than as one big decision. Early on, planning focuses on support at home, advance care planning while the person can still take part, and getting the legal and financial affairs in order. As needs grow, the question of more support — including, eventually, residential aged care for some — comes up. There's no single right time; it depends on safety, the person's needs and what the family can sustain. The National Dementia Helpline (1800 100 500) and Dementia Australia are excellent, free starting points, and your GP helps coordinate the medical side.
I'm caring for someone — how do I look after myself?

Carer burnout is real, common, and not a sign of weakness — you cannot pour from an empty cup. Looking after yourself is part of caring well, not separate from it. Practical steps include accepting and asking for help, using respite care, staying connected to your own health and GP, and reaching out to carer supports. In Australia, Carer Gateway (1800 422 737) offers free counselling, respite and practical support for carers. If you're feeling overwhelmed or hopeless, please talk to someone — your GP, Lifeline (13 11 14) or Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636).
Isn't planning for serious illness just morbid or giving up?

It can feel that way before you do it, and the opposite afterwards. Planning ahead is not giving up — it's taking control of the things you can, so that the people you love aren't left to guess, argue or carry guilt at the hardest moment. Most people who complete advance care planning describe relief, not gloom. You can revisit and change your plans any time. The kindest version of this is to do it while you're well enough to think clearly and talk it through with the people who matter.

Source quality

Sources grouped by evidence tier. Australian primary tier first; international where Australia is silent or lagging. How tiers work.

T1 AU primary 9 sources

If you want a thorough, unhurried work-up of your own — not a generic answer — you can work with Dr Lo.